You have totally exhausted yourself over the years by always putting everyone else first.
Your children, your partner, your job, your parents, siblings, that friend who always has a drama going on…. and you have done it willingly because you are the very best Mum, partner, sister, friend, employee / co worker that you can possibly be.
You’ve kept the house running, the bills paid on time, the laundry done, the fridge filled, cooked, cleaned and been the Mum taxi and held down a job.
Again, you have done it willingly.
Now, along with all that did you also take on the responsibility for everyone else’s happiness? You tried to fix every single issue.
Am I the only one who lived by that saying, ” You are only as happy as your unhappiest child” ?
No, I didn’t think so.
And that might not have been just your children, it was everyone – all those people, partner, parents, friends, boss etc.
So, here is a question.
What would it feel like to be able to think about you and your feelings? ( if you immediately felt a tightness in your body when you read that, then I see you, trust me, I KNOW that feeling).
To be able to say “No” occasionally and NOT FEEL GULTY?
For me it was always the guilt.
Do I want to do that thing, go to that place, give up the one morning I had off because someone else had something come up?
No!
But did I do all those things? yes, because otherwise the guilt would consume me. I would wake up at 2.30 in the morning ( it was ALWAYS 2.30, my ultimate doom time) catastrophising the days events, how I could have done more, how I could help that person resolve their problem. Their problem became my problem but my mind multiplied it by about a thousand.
That was my life before I found a coach. She actually started coaching me around my business but she saw something in me that life coaching could help more.
Meeting that coach was the start of a very deep dive. The first hurdle was allowing myself to spend money on a coach for myself. There was so many other things I could have spent that money on, surely there was nothing really wrong with me? Didn’t I have a lovely life? I wasn’t the kind of person that had a life coach…..
I went on to do an awful lot of work on myself, my beliefs, my patterns, especially why I held that guilt and took on so much responsibility for others. It was that journey that led me to becoming an accredited coach myself.
I could see how much this work had changed my life and I want to help as many women (and men, but it’s mostly women who come to me) as possible to claim back their best lives.
Of course, I still love to do things for my family, I’m more than happy to do it, but now I have these little things called boundaries. I understand that self care isn’t selfish and that I don’t need to take on everyone’s stress.
And guess what?
It’s actually improved my relationship with the people I love.
My head is so much calmer. My body isn’t constantly in panic mode. My sleep has improved, I have tools to deal with situations that arise ( and they still do!)
If you recognise yourself in this and have any questions, then please feel free to get in touch. You can book a free ‘Next Chapter’ call to discuss whether we could work together, or simply message me.
F xx
